New Chapter: Part 2 To a New Life, New Passion… Starting Better and Wiser.
“You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won’t happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.” -Joel Osteen
Here I am taking control of my time, my life and my dreams… Following all beginnings, there is (undeniably) an end to a chapter. Good or bad, the page has to turn. The chapter is coming to an end, and the only prerequisite is that you stand strong on your two feet ready for “next..
What an intro to my piece! LOL... Naturally, you’d think that I had it all figured out and overcoming changes is just another regular occurrence in my daily life. Uproar? Who said uproar??
A little less than 10 years ago, I read Joel Osteen’s book, “Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential”, where the above quote is taken from. I clearly remember – whatever I was going through at the time – that quote was like a Bible verse for me, it was at the time my mantra… But I guess whatever I was experiencing back then was nothing like what the past year and an half has been for me. Having to move on and close this last chapter, has been the most obvious thing for me to do, however it was also the hardest….
Circumstances are not going to always be how you envision them. Things are not always going to play out the way you want them to, so you just have to rise to the occasion.
Easier said than done right? At least it has been for me. Regardless of THAT made-up Bible verse, things… situations have not always been easy to juggle. Even as I knew it was time to make changes, overdue changes, the question became, “How do you rise up?” How do you make the needed changes?
The past 18 months have been filled with realizations, “aha” moments, reality checks, pains until enough became enough, and the right choice to move on was made for me.
Recently I separated from a company I invested my time for many, many years. For those years, I was excelling and actually enjoying the 150% I put in every single day I worked there. My performance was dedicated, consistent and valued. I got along well with all my colleagues, the field team, the overseas team, and then one day, things changed. It wasn’t a slow change, it was pretty drastic and the negativity was unconcealed.
I can’t say I was blindsided. With the restructuring of a corporate team, the expectation is there would be collateral damage. So early on I knew I was going to be a casualty 😉. Hey, in this process, that’s how it works and I was okay with it. I understood that when they saw fit, we would part ways and I believed it would be done in a respectable and caring manner but little did I know… What I didn’t know is that for 2 years that followed the restructuring, I would be dealing with harassment, sexism, bullying and discrimination, all stemming from a new management team lead by a fearful “overbooked” unqualified leader.
I got the wind knocked out of me. The seat at the table was pulled.
Although the new agenda was clear, I tried to justify what was happening. I tried to control it, to fight it, because I knew what I deserved. For a year straight I felt useless. While I kept on raising my hand to be noticed, to offer my knowledge; I kept on being overlooked. I sat in my office chair at my desk and felt myself dwindling. I always thrived in challenges and welcomed growth in all that was to be learned but the agenda in place was apparently bigger than anything I had to offer. I looked around me and realized that I wasn’t alone at the receiving end of this treatment. I raised grievances just to see them being ignored. The work environment became toxic.
Reluctantly, I started “looking”, entertaining conversations and offers with other companies but it was never good enough. I was forgoing opportunities because my mind was made up on going in a certain direction. Or maybe it was me still hanging on to the idea that I was owed something, that they would finally realize the asset I was to the company. Or was it me, while being miserable, also being very comfortable and afraid of change; afraid of having to start over.
My doctor said, “Rose you need to leave that environment, it will not get any better, I promise you it will not be a loss…”
My close friends said, “Girl, set yourself up, are you looking? You need to find something else and leave”
The Hubby said, “Quit now! I don’t care, we will be fine. This job/the security it provides is not worth the misery you are enduring…”
But I chose to stay, enduring the negative behavior towards me, while continuously complaining about it. Now I know that I ultimately wanted to control the narrative of how the end of this chapter of my life needed to be.
”A persisting unhappy condition in your life will cast the darkest shadow on anything that contains even the slightest bit of joy”.~ RosieSandz
While drowning in misery at work and running away from making the hard/easy decision, I had to find an outlet to redirect my energy. In the past I channeled my energy in different ways, I used to write to release thoughts and feelings I held close to my heart. I also redecorated my home from top to bottom. While I am a bit of an introvert, I at times, love to entertain my loved ones with great food and drinks. It was easy to speak to people’s senses when it came to my food, so for now I decided to challenge myself and found a new pipeline to release my creativity in cocktail making. I had become (in my spare time) “The Non-Mixologist Mixologist.”
So here I am now 18 months later seating at a new table with a boss who understands what team work is and how it is supposed to unfold. Working for a company that value every single one of its employee no matter what their position is because they truly believe that “Only people makes people happy”
Most importantly, the lesson learned is: No matter who, what, why and how someone/something behaves towards you, do not let them take power over who you know you are. Do not let them compromise who you have built yourself to be. Remember unless you are called to the heavens above, there will always be a tomorrow for them AND FOR YOU! With caring and respect, nothing has to be a forever thing but it at least has to be fulfilling one…
As always remember that I love you – Smooches!
