Jul 17

Jul 17 The Harmonious Balance of Selfishness & Selflessness

The Balance of Selfish and Selfless

I’ve quietly observed a wide spectrum of personalities and invariably, the most serene and centered individuals possess the ability to be both selfish and selfless. In doing so, they solvedthe mystery of loving unconditionally and experiencing true happiness. I truly believe a person’s grasp of happiness is woven into the very fabric of their capacity to love and is sustained by the harmonious existence of these polar emotions.

On the subject of Selfishness:

Happiness is defined as “the state of being happy” followed by a string of synonyms intended to further explain this elusive emotion. Ironically it was a random interpretation of Anger thatgave me a concise definition of Happiness. Anger was defined as a consequence of other emotions like sadness, worry, guilt, frustration, helplessness, or fear. In contrast Happiness became a phenomenon that could only bloom with the exclusion of every other emotion.

Ordinarily, selfishness isn’t a popular choice given that the majority is ignorant of societal restrictions placed on us to stifle our instincts. And while I don’t consider myself a conventional rebel, I abhor the notion that something as sacred as individual happiness is constantly being manipulated to coerce conformity. It was to my benefit that I accepted two things about my concept of Happiness. First, it was unconventional because it requiredan unapologetic strain of selfishness and second, I am solely responsible for achieving it. I embraced my selfishness once I accepted the lengths I was prepared to go to seek, protect and nurture my personal happiness.

On the subject of Selflessness:

Conversely, when we love someone it is compulsory to tap into an inherent selfless footprint and allow our loved ones tobecome a focal point. We must prepare to become guardians of that individual’s trust, safety and loyalty. Love must grow organically from our willingness to learn that person’s brand of happiness and language of love. We must endeavor to maintaina safe space for them to share their truth. We must understand that the very act of loving is a wildly generous thing. When we love selflessly, our hearts transform on a spiritual plain resulting in a quiet and dignified metamorphosis. It is truly a magnanimous way to give of one’s self.

Unfortunately that is rarely the case. We love from our perspective, from our understanding and beliefs, remainingignorant of our loved ones language of love. We expendprecious time forcing them into a box for the sake of our understanding instead of the acquisition of theirs. We discourage honest dialogue to protect our sensitivities and robbing ourselves of the opportunity to experience their truth. And in doing so, we fail them and cheat ourselves of perspective, objective, compassion, and growth.

On the subject of Balance

There must be a marriage of selfish and selfless to balance ourpersonal happiness and capacity to love. We must carefully manage that sway at our center of gravity. It is also important to have mutual respect and understanding for the necessity of both sides and how it impacts our growth. Happiness and loving is a choice we must embrace completely or not at all for it is the difference between living and existing. It is infinitely better to be a staunch defender of our happiness and love unconditionally,rather than exist in the shadows of our potential.